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The Hits Collection (Vol. One)

99 Problems

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If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one
I got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol
Foes that wanna make sure my caskets closed
Rap critics that say hes Money, Cash, Hoes
Im from the hood stupid, what type of facts are those?
If you grew up with holes in your zapatoes
Youd celebrate the minute you was havin dough
Im like fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole
If you dont like my lyrics, you can press fast forward
Got beef with radio if I dont play they show
they dont play my hits - well I dont give a shit, SO!
Rap mags try and use my black ass
So advertisers can give em more cash for ads, fuckers!
I dont know what you take me as
Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has
Im from, rags to riches, niggaz I aint dumb
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

99 problems but a bitch aint one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

The year is ninety-four, in my trunk is raw
In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin law
Got two choices yall, pull over the car or (hmm)
bounce on the Devil, put the pedal to the floor
And I aint tryin to see no highway chase with Jake
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
So I, pull over to the side of the road
Son do you know why Im stoppin you for?
Cause Im young and Im black and my hats real low
Or do I look like a mindreader sir? I dont know
Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo?
Well you was doin fifty-five in the fifty-four;
license and registration and step out of the car -
are you carryin a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are
I aint steppin out of shit, all my papers legit
Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
And I know my rights, so you gon need a warrant for that
Arent you sharp as a tack! You some type of
lawyer or somethin, somebody important or somethin?
Child I aint passed the bar, but I know a little bit
Enough that you wont illegally search my shit
Well well see how smart you are when the canine comes
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

99 problems but a bitch aint one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

99 problems but a bitch aint one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

Now once upon a time, not too long ago
A nigga like myself had to strongarm a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy
But a pussy havin no God damn sense, try an push me
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
But wouldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight
And only thing thats gon happen is Ima get to clappin and
he and his boys gon be yappin to the Captain
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
Fiends on the floor, scratchin again
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin them
D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again
Half a mill for bail cause Im African
All because this fool was harassin them
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccharin
But aint nuttin sweet bout how I hold my gun
I got 99 problems B and a bitch aint one - hit me!

99 problems but a bitch aint one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

99 problems but a bitch aint one
If you havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems, but a bitch aint one - hit me!

.. Whoo! Whoo! Uh, uh
Havin girl problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems and a bitch aint one, ha ha!
You crazy for this one Rick! Its your boy!