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HOPE

HAPPY

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Dear God, please hear me out
I know it's been a couple years
Since I've reached out and said hello
I bet you're wondering
Why I keep obsessing on and
stressing all the little things
When I should be living life and
soaking up the memories
I know I've been selfish, I have
No excuse to give you, it's true
Hanging by a thread's how I live
I don't know why,
but I feel more comfortable
Living in my agony
Watching my self-esteem go up
in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully that that's
the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to
open up and ask you
To pick me up and pull me out
this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help,
but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy
Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like something's off
when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't open yet
I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget
I got some phone calls
I've been avoiding
Some family members
I don't really connect with
Some things I said,
I wish I woulda not let slip
Some hurtful words that
never shoulda left my lips
Some bridges burned,
I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities
I haven't dealt with, yes
I'll be the first to admit
that I'm a lonely soul
And the last to admit
I need a hand to hold
Losing hope,
heading down a dangerous road
Strange, I know,
but I feel most at home when I'm?
Living in my agony
Watching my self-esteem go up
in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully that
that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to
open up and ask you
To pick me up and pull me out
this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help,
but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy
Don't know what's around the bend
Don't know what my future is
But I can't keep on living in?
Living in my agony
Watching my self-esteem go up
in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks
When I know truthfully that
that's the furthest thing from how I
Feel, but I'm too proud to
open up and ask you
To pick me up and pull me out
this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is I need help,
but I just can't imagine
Who I'd be if I was happy
If I was happy
If I was happy